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Reiven's Reflectionsan evolution of perception
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July 23 William Makepeace Thackeray“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.” William Makepeace Thackeray quotes February 28 D & A This is from an e-mail that I sent to a friend. If you are here, maybe you can benefit from it too. I hope so. I was diagnosed with extreme depression and anxiety about 2 years ago. I was such a mess I really wish I could have been hospitalized. But no insurance and no one to lean on but myself so I toughed it out. For me it's biological as well as situational. I found a great site for research, it's: "crazymeds.us" They have tons of info and it's written in layman terms and is really quite funny at times. I've found myself really embarrassed because I have a "mental illness." I'm an intelligent woman and I feel like being ill (mentally) is a weakness that I should be able to prevent/handle, just by the power of my will. But I know that I can't, I know that I have to take meds and I need to learn to deal with stressful situations in a healthy way. There are a lot of people suffering with D&A, and more and more of the general public are understanding that it is a debilitating illness. One of the really hard parts for me is the fact that no one can "see" that I am ill. People don't understand how fragile I am and the need I have to just be left alone to heal. People cannot see what a Herculean effort it is just to get out of bed. It's not like I am wearing a cast and so my friends know not to ask me to an amusement park. I feel like a loser when I keep telling my friends that I don't want to go out to a club or a bar or whatever. They are always asking "why not?" and how many times can I say "I'm depressed, I don't want to do anything and the idea of trying to pick out something to wear causes me so much anxiety that I just have to lay down." And the looks I get like "what the fuck? you're stressed about getting dressed?" It's not the getting dressed, it's the trying to make a decision, even simple one's are overwhelming. It's important that you be gentle with yourself. January 30 PicturesI took some pics today at a park by my house. Look under photos. They're kind of weird looking because the background of my page shows through, but it actually works well. I may have to change the background if I take more pics that won't go so well with it. Lemme know what you think. January 26 Vocabulary I was thinking about words I would like to incorporate into my vocabulary. Words like scandalous. I know it's not new or anything, but I just never use it, maybe that is why I like it so much. I also like the word "shady," again, it's not new, but I don't use it. Scandalous and shady, where is my mind going with this? I don't know, but I'm tired of using the word "fuck" because it is so over-used, or maybe I just use it too much. It's scandalous how often I use the word "fuck." Heehee I'll add new words as they pop into my head, I just wanted to write this down while I was thinking of it.
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